I just saw a hot homeless man
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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