K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize