But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
