I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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