My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
