She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
