Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
