Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
More tranny stories later!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
