I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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