Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
