I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
one two three fourrrrnication!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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