I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
