remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
