this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
