he shaved USA in his pubs
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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