what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
