was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
