last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize