I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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