Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
