Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's official drugs can't kill me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
