hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
