when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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