I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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