there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize