I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
