I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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