Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
