This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
