im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize