I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
