But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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