Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize