If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
