Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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