It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
and you fell through a lawn chair
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
