It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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