my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
