My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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