I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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