he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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