Quick, to the slutcave!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
