You're my little dorito
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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