your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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