why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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