I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
