I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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