12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize