Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
4 words: hood of his car
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
