They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
