did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize