are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
