Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
