What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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