Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
