she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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