Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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