I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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