just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
