So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
