Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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(574): View more from Indiana

how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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(805): View more from California

we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.

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(425): View more from Washington

She's clinging to me like a horny koala.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol

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