I seem to have left my pride at pride
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
