try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
