i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
