The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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