you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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