I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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