He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
